Hermès

Aquarius approached the bag with caution. Slouched as it was rather dejectedly on a stone, seemingly sulking.

"Excuse me," he enquired and the bag shuddered, startled.

"Inssstholence!" it lisped through the clicking gold clasp.

"Terribly sorry," Aquarius stepped closer, fascinated. He had never seen a talking handbag before, lest one that spluttered with such rage.

"Tha m'ethsst égal," he sighed, letting the folds of crocadile leather heave around him in defeat. "Zisth isth my dessttthhhhiny, mon fortune."

Aquarius ventured closer just as the bag began to quietly sob. "Oh," he breathed, unsure as to what to do. He looked about but there was so much commotion with the papparazzi he knew that he was alone to deal with this emotional french sack.

The sobbing climaxed into a watery crescendo, "She sayths I cry crocadile tears! But thiths isth not so. I love her, I love her, I love her," it howled, "but she can only love herself."

"Ahah!" Aqaurius exclaimed, "You are a fan? Of the star?"

"Imbétthhhile!" the bag spat and Aquarius jumped. The bag regarded him and conceded a "Pardon.... it is just, ohhhh, if only I was just a fan. Yet I am worse, I am but a handbag, her accessory, her plaything. A terrible role in life to play."

Aquarius frowned and looked over at the flashing camera bulbs and cries "Miss Venus, over here" " Give us a smile, Venus."

"Is it not nice to be the plaything of a beautiful woman?" he asked.

"Ye Gods, non! But what can I do, I worship at her pedestel. We are eternally bound. I had career athspirations myself, but now I just dabble. She ith the ttthhhsscelebrity."

"What is it you do?" Aquarius asked, conversationally. The bag spat out a business card.

"I`m in communications. Methssageths mainly and I have one for you. Pay no attention to my melancholy, this love is epic. But for you, mere mortal, take heed. Cupid, yethsss, it is Cupid that you need."

"Cupid." Aquarius sounded the name aloud.

"Oui, lènfant terrible of the Olympuths set. Monstre of a little thing, sans morals. Find him and he will teach you about love."

"Where is he?"

"Probably smoking opium somewhere in Chinatown, urghh, le brat. Now, excuthse moi." The bag heaved off the rock and slouchily waddled towards the crowd, that begrudingly parted way.

The radiant Venus was mounting her marble pillar to be raised into the clouds again, posing and flashing pearly whites to the maddened crowd of papparazzos. Hermès tried to get up with a leap, but fell short much to his goddeses irritation.

"Urgh, will you get up here, Hermès, you idiot!" she snapped, awkardly trying to catch his strap with her angelic toe, all the while maintaining a brilliant smile.

"Coming, mon amis!" it cried and hurled itself alongside her with delight to her seething irritation.

Click here to follow the love story of Venus and Hermès

Click here to follow the story of the Hermès Kelly Bag

Romeo

The low sun cast long shadows among the olive trees and our Aquarius rested his legs by a field.

Snacking on strawberries his droopy eyes fell upon the olive skin, sweat-beaded and glistening, of a young man working the field.

The peasant paused a moment and turned his chest to meet the last rays of the sun and his face, up-tilted, as he drank from his canteen.

Aquarius felt his breath fly from his lungs as the doe eyed object of his eye turned to meet his gaze.

"I feel queer." he thought to himself.

The young farmer`s pleasant face burst into a good natured smile.

"Good morrow, there. I didn`t see you!" he called and made his way to the shady patch Aquarius was resting. He flopped down by our antihero and thrust out a browned hand in greeting,

"Call me Romeo," he grinned.

Aquarius tried not to worry about his dampedned palms, "Aquarius."

"Aq-wary-ius," Romeo smiled, "Is that you? Shy, my friend?" He gave him a light punch on the shoulder and Aquarius forced a smile, though his heart was racing, his stomach fluttering and he felt cool goosepimples prickling his neck.

"No, no..." he stuttered, "not at all. I just feel."
"Dizzy?" finished Romeo.
"Yes," Aquarius looked up at Romeo, surprised. "Yes, I feel a bit..."
"Light headed, butterflies in your tummy?"
"Yes!" Aquarius began to relax. "How did you know?"

Romeo`s hand, his perfect tanned hand, brushed against Aquarius` "I don`t know. I feel the same."

The afternoon became a frolic.

As they lay by the cooling stream as it burbled over rocks and waved fine reeds, watching dragonflies mate in the dappled light, Aquarius wondered at his luck.

"That my search is already over!" he thought aloud.

Romeo who had been dazing looked up,
"What search?"

Aquarius blushed a little but then steeled hismelf sure his friend would understand,

"I was seeking love and here I am."

Romeo burst into hard, loud laughter. Aquarius turned crimson but was confused,

"You said you felt the same."

Romeo gave a short sigh and for a moment he looked down into the dandelions, ashamed. But then his glorious smile returned and he looked up through his long, fan-brush lashes at his friend.

"Aquarius, you have just begun on this journey. It would be a shame for you to stop now. What adventures await you!" he nodded as though encouraging the idea.

Aquarius felt cold and unwell, again, but this was different again.

"I must get back to a city not far from here where my family is expecting me to be a man and maybe marry soon. I come here for fun, sometimes, and fun we had!" he laughed as shadows darkened his face and he buttoned his cotton shirt.

Aqaurius watched Romeo, is sullen silence, as his friend gathered up a bundle of his things and began walking away.

"Fare thee well, Aq-wary-ius." his laughter faded as he did, into the sunset.

Follow Romeo`s love story.
The meeting
The story
The masterpiece
The history

Cast of Players

Aquarius - As Himself (understudy Hugh Grant)

Helen of the Library – Eve (understudy, Helen of Troy)

Hermes – Kelly bag (understudy, Birkin bag)

Venus – Aphrodite (understudy, Our Lady of Lourdes)

Romeo – Rudolph Valentino (understudy, Apollo)

Cupid - Danny De Vito

Princesses –
Paris Hilton, Gloria Upson, Princess Caroline, Tamara Ecclestone, Princess Maria Elizabeth of Sweden,

Bananas in Pyjamas – B1 and B2

White Witch – Mae West (understudy Lilith)

Queen of Hearts – Jane Austen (Barbara Cartland)

The Flower Children

Bonnie

Clyde

The Blues Singer

Tiny Minnie Martini – Roxy Hart

The Beginnings

Aquarius was born of a loveless marriage, conceived in a casual act of love.

When he came of age he became possessed with purpose; to find his true love, his perfect other half.

Here we will follow him through time and space on his quest to fall in love.